Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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