She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
