There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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