I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
