your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
