I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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