So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
