ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Randomize
