I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize