i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
