i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
