Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We're too hungover to prance.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
