When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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