Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
