We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
