Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just found puke in my bra..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
