we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
