Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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