try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
