VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
