google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
