We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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