i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I need water and some morals
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
