guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
