I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
