my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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