i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
