Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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