PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
