Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
