I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
