Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
