All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
