It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
