Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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