its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
