Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
