barbara walters just said penis...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
