i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
