I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize