Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
