Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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