I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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