So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize