He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
