So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
In America we eat man semen.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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