So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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