Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
