they need to just BURY HIM!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
