She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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