if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
