he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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