i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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