I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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