if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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