idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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