i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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