i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
