how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
