There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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