So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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