You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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